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Holidays are important for kids in divorces

Holidays are supposed to be happy times, filled with light and laughter and the joys of the season of giving that for most comes only once a year. Unfortunately, for many children whose parents are separated, the stress of divorce and its consequences can render holidays very unhappy for many kids. Recognizing that and taking steps to deal with it is important for the lives of the kids.

Kids rely on routines. The lure of the familiar is one of the most important things in their lives, because it tells them what they can count on. For that reason, kids may become very upset if their holiday traditions change. This leaves parents who have separated in a quandary, since some holiday traditions will be different due to the kids' parents being apart.

It is important to communicate to the kids about holiday plans. Let them know well in advance, give them time to ask questions and to understand. Try to retain many of the holiday traditions that the whole family can find joy in.

Also, maintain good communication with your ex-husband or ex-wife. Don't let your antipathy towards them, or theirs towards you, adversely affect your kids' life. If your child wants to connect with their other parent on or around a holiday, find a way to make that happen. Even Skype, Facetime or a regular call can be a tremendous gift for your child so that they don't have go through the holiday without their mother or their father.For you, this may be difficult, but always keep in mind that your kids' well-being comes first.

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