If you think divorce is hard on the adults impacted by it, think about how it must feel to be a child of divorce. These kids have known their parenting living in the same home their entire life. It must be difficult for them to think about having to spend time in two home and never with both parents at the same time.
Some people think that children should just sit back and let the adults handle the divorce. While this is true for matters like property division, it isn't at all true for the child custody case. Children should be able to speak up, in an appropriate manner, about what they think regarding the custody matters.
Some younger children might not be able to voice an opinion but older children should be encouraged to speak up. Parents shouldn't expect these children to just remain quiet because the child custody case impacts them directly. Instead, ask them questions about what is going on. Make it clear that they are individuals and have a right to feel in whatever way they do. Don't punish the child for these feelings and don't try to get the children to choose between the parents.
We know that you might not have any idea how to take your child's wishes into account in this process. We can help you find creative ways to do this. You might be surprised at what is possible when everyone decides to work together for the good of the children instead of trying to be petty and make life difficult for the other parties.