One relationship expert does not think that a lot of Americans are looking at divorce in the right light. She says they need to change their view to more accurately reflect what’s going on.
Her reasoning is that many people seem to think that filing for divorce means failing to maintain your marriage. She doesn’t look at it that way. It’s not failing, she says, but just deciding to go a different direction than your spouse. In many cases, both people make this decision together.
They’re not giving up on anything. They’re opting for something else.
Clearly, there are cases when this is a good idea. If your spouse is financially or physically abusive, should you stay in that marriage? Is it really “failing” to get out? Of course it’s not, she says, even though people often think about it that way instinctively.
One reason that she thinks they do this is simply that the idea of getting married is part of the so-called American Dream. People want to go to college, get married, move to the suburbs, have kids and enjoy a successful career. That’s the dream, and anything that deviates from it feels like failing that dream.
She does not think that’s fair at all. She points out that people can be very successful and happy even when they end their marriages.
No matter how you feel about divorce, you need to make sure you understand all of your legal rights if you and your spouse do end up calling off the marriage. This process can be complicated, and you must know how to protect yourself and your right to a happy future.