It is often said that you can't move forward until you address the past. This applies to many areas of your life. One of these is your divorce and child custody. How amicable your divorce is can have a direct impact on the child custody relationship you will have moving forward.
Many people who are going through divorce automatically jump into the negative mode of thinking. They focus on every tiny thing they feel their ex did wrong. In order to be able to have a productive and trusting relationship with your ex, you will have to learn to let go of those factors. Your ex can be a good parent even if they weren't a good spouse since those two qualities aren't dependent upon each other.
As you are moving through the divorce, provide your children with the information they need. There isn't any reason to try to protect them from the fact that you are divorcing because they will know something is amiss. Instead, help them to understand that this is a change that they can manage.
You and your ex might need to talk to the kids together. Show them that you are committed to being a parenting team. Help them understand that they aren't losing their family because both parents will still be involved in their life. Oftentimes, the unknown is what makes this so hard for children.
Your children can have a positive future if you and your ex make a conscious decision to remain amicable. By avoiding a lot of conflict in the legal process, you can shore the likelihood that this will happen. It will also reduce the financial impact that might affect the children. Remember that every dollar you have to spend unnecessarily fighting with your ex is one less that you have to support your children.