Humans can easily become attached to their material possessions. While this is normal, it can make things challenging when a couple decides that they are going to divorce — because much of that property will likely have to be divided.
When you are about to go through a divorce, take the time to think about your goals. These aren’t necessarily going to be the same as your spouse’s, so there should be plenty of room to negotiate as you are going through the various assets and debts that have to be divided.
Typically, women will have interpersonal goals and men will have task-oriented goals. This can lead women to bypass some of the things that they might want in the divorce in an effort to minimize the stress of the process. Men typically have a more developed sense of possession. As a result, they might be more hyper-focused on walking away with specific assets.
Naturally, this isn’t how the process always goes — but it does highlight how important it is to go into the process psychologically prepared. To help yourself move through the process, consider the following questions:
- What are your goals regarding your marital assets? What do you value the most?
- What do you value the least? What will you give up without a second thought?
- What assets do you anticipate your spouse to assume “ownership” over or feel strongly possessive about?
- What amount of stress are you willing to cope with over certain material objects?
It’s important to discuss these goals and thoughts with your attorney before you start negotiations over the division of your marital property. That way, you and your attorney stay on the same page.