Divorce is a very stressful time. Instead of just accepting that you are going to be stressed until the decree is finalized, you can use the four A’s to help you keep your stress to a manageable level.
The first A is avoid. This doesn’t mean that you are going to avoid the divorce. Instead, it means to make yourself aware of the possible issues you will face so that you make informed decisions ahead of time so you aren’t making stress-fueled decisions at the last minute. Get answers to your questions as soon as the divorce is filed and seek out information about your options at each stage of the divorce.
The second A is alter. In the case of a divorce, altering the situation could mean letting your lawyer handle more of the negotiations about child custody, property division, and other points that apply to your divorce. Make it clear from the start that you aren’t going to deal with a lot of mess and stick to that as the divorce moves forward.
The third A is accept. Accept that the marriage is over and move on with your life. Trying to fight to keep a spouse who filed for divorce is an almost certain recipe for stress. Instead, think about the possibilities that the future holds for you.
The final A is adapt. Learn how to enjoy your single life. Spend time pursing things that you enjoy. Take the time to get to know yourself. If you have children, make memories with them. Your ex is a big part of your past, but that doesn’t mean that you have to let your ex control your future.
Source: Mayo Clinic, “Need stress relief? Try the 4 A’s,” accessed Jan. 27, 2017