Some adults have a natural need to control the things that go on around them. While this might have been a manageable trait when you were married, it can be downright frustrating when you’re divorcing. In some cases, it can become dangerous. You have to protect yourself if you’re in this position.
You should try to limit what your ex can control about you. If you have children together, there might be some aspects that you can’t change. For example, your ex would still need a way to contact you in case something happens with the kids. You might opt to use a third-party contact or a monitored form of communication for these instances.
When you communicate with your ex, be sure that there are witnesses. This might not always be easy, so using written forms, such as emails and texts, might be a good option. You will have a record of what’s said and done in case it’s needed in the legal proceedings.
You’ll also need to document as much as you can. A person who is controlling might resort to lying and making misstatements to get their way. There’s a chance that they might even try to threaten you into giving them their way. Stand firm with your boundaries, but be sure you’re safe as you do so. This is a situation in which having witnesses might be particularly helpful.
Finally, remember that your ex doesn’t need to know about your life. You may need to remove them and mutual friends from social media. Take steps to limit their access to your home and provide them with as little information as possible.
Be sure to discuss your specific safety concerns with your attorney. They may be able to help you to find solutions to any problems as you begin your new life.