Going through a divorce when you have children means that you aren’t actually going to be able to just avoid your ex forever. Instead, you’re going to have to work as a team to raise the children. Setting up a positive foundation for the future is beneficial. You can do this by developing a respectful parenting relationship during the divorce.
As you’re coming up with the terms of the split, make sure you’re using proper communication standards. It might help if you think of it as a businesslike situation, so you can remain cordial during your interactions with your ex.
One thing you shouldn’t ever allow to happen is having the kids relay messages from one parent to the other. Not only does using children as messengers open up the possibility of misunderstanding, it also places an undue burden on them.
When the kids are relaying messages back and forth, they may be subjected to reactions they shouldn’t have to deal with. This is common when there is a negative message. The parent might not even realize how their reactions are impacting the children.
Parents also shouldn’t use the children as a sounding board. No child should have to hear what one parent doesn’t like about the other one. Even if you don’t like what your ex is doing, you should speak to them about it instead of talking to the kids.
You can have the terms of the communication set in the parenting plan. This helps ensure that everyone is on the same page, and it can benefit the children since it is the foundation of stability for them.