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Breaking the news about divorce to your spouse

The decision to leave your marriage might have been a long time coming. When you make up your mind, you have to let your spouse know. While this might seem easy, there are some points to consider before you sit down to have the conversation. Taking the time to plan how you will handle some of these can reduce your stress.

Always remain factual when you're letting them know. Try to focus on your feelings without being accusatory. Accusing your spouse of being the sole reason for the divorce will likely cause them to become defensive. That can lead to a bad situation.

As the conversation about the end of the marriage moves forward, don't try to make any major decisions. Things like property division and child custody are part of the process that you must endure before the divorce is finalized. It is best to keep a record of those discussions so you know where you stand.

There is a chance that things will get heated as you discuss the divorce. If this happens, take a step back to regroup. There isn't a rule that says that you have to discuss everything in one session. Make it perfectly clear that you aren't going engage in arguments and that the focus should be on the immediate life impacts, such as who will be moving out of the marital home.

One thing you must do is to make it clear that your decision is final. Some spouses might not be willing to accept the split right away. By making it clear that you're not willing to discuss the possibility of trying to work out the issues, you can avoid later dashing their hopes.

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