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Bartlett Divorce Law Blog

Find your joy this holiday season, even if you are alone

Thinking about having to spend the holiday season without your children with you is something that most parents don't find pleasant. Many parents have to deal with this throughout at least a part of the holiday season because they have to abide by the child custody schedule.

For parents who are feeling down because of this, there is a need to find joy in the season. The way you do this depend on what types of activities that you enjoy. Here are some suggestions you can use whether this is your first holiday season since your marriage ended or have been through this before:

A surprise divorce can make life very challenging.

Divorces are traumatic experiences for some men and women. This is especially true for people who didn't realize that the divorce was going to be filed. In these cases, the shock of the filing and the scramble to prepare can seem overwhelming. We can help you to work through the legal aspects of your case to determine what you need to land in the best position possible.

An unexpected divorce comes with a lot of unknowns. When you know that the divorce is coming, you have time to plan for it. You are able to make living arrangements and figure out how you can support yourself solely on your income. A surprise divorce doesn't give you these opportunities.

An unexpected divorce doesn't have to mean financial ruin

When you are hit with a divorce unexpectedly, you might automatically move into crisis mode without realizing it. You have to make sure that you aren't letting the fear of the unknown ruin your financial future. Even if things are difficult now, making a plan can help you to avoid devastation down the road.

One thing that you need to do is to focus on getting the essentials. You need shelter, clothing, transportation and food. Once you have those in place, you can move your focus to other areas.

Find out what might happen to an inheritance in divorce

Many different things have to be divided when you are going through a divorce. Some people worry about what will happen to heirlooms from their family or to an inheritance. The answer to this isn't always an easy one, but there are some points that can have an impact on how these are handled.

Typically, the assets you are given through an inheritance aren't subject to the property division laws. They are usually considered separate property for the person to whom it was given.

Review the holiday parenting schedule today

Dealing with your ex on child custody matters might not be at the top of things that you want to have to do for the next few years or longer. Just ignoring your ex isn't going to provide your child with the benefits of having parents who can get along in a civil manner.

One of the most difficult things that you will have to do is to work with your ex on the child custody schedule. While doing this during most of the year can be a challenge, it is even more so during the holiday season.

Take the stress out of returning to school after divorce

Children who are having to deal with their parents going through a divorce will likely find that the tension and uneasiness extends to other areas of their life. This includes their education, which is something that almost all parents can agree doesn't need to occur.

As a parent, there are some options that you have for making your child's transition back to school a bit easier. The options you choose depend largely on your child's age, maturity level and ability to cope.

You might not have to make monthly alimony payments

Alimony payments are something that come with some divorces, but not all. When you are facing the prospect of having to make alimony payments, you might wonder what options you have. In some cases, the choice might not be yours to make. Instead, the court might order the payments and payment schedule.

One of the possible ways that alimony payments are made is through monthly or regularly occurring payments. There will likely be an end date to the alimony order. In some cases, the alimony will continue as long as the payer is alive and the recipient isn't remarried.

Determine the type of custody arrangement that works for you

Your children have probably grown up with you and their other parent in the same home. You can imagine how much of a shock it will be to learn that the parents they have grown up in the same home with are getting a divorce. Some children will act out in a negative manner when this news is broken to them. As hard as this is to take, you should prepare yourself for the possibility.

We understand that your life is in turmoil right now. You might not be sure what to do or where to turn. One of the most important things that you can do right now is to take the time to think about what your children need and what you can do to make the transition easier.

Children don't have to suffer in school after a divorce

Going back to school after your parents have divorced is unsettling for many children. They might still harbor feelings that they caused the divorce or that they are somehow less of a person than other children because of the divorce. Because of the difficulties that children face, it is imperative that parents take action.

You need to explain to your child that there isn't anything wrong with having divorced parents. Things at home might change, but there isn't any reason for those changes to impact your child at school.

Focus on how you can improve your child's life

Children count on their parents for stability and love. When a child's parents have been together during a child's entire life, it can be difficult for the child to adjust to not having their parents together. This is what children of divorce have to deal with. If you are divorcing your child's other parent, you have to focus on how you can help your child to cope with the major changes.

A divorce can shake a child to the core. The child, especially a younger child, might not fully realize what is going on. They probably don't know about the issues that led to the divorce. They may not realize that there isn't going to be a reconciliation.

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