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Bartlett Divorce Law Blog

Understand the points to cover in a parenting plan

Parents who go through divorce need to think about what's best for the children, but this isn't always easy when emotions are running rampant. You should try to separate your feelings about the marriage from your decisions about child custody so that you can ensure you are making decisions based on what the kids need.

Sometimes, situations turn bad, and the parents start making claims against each other. This is usually a bad situation for the children because they have to live in the middle of battling parents. If you are in this position, make sure that you aren't doing things just to get back at your ex. Instead, remain calm and only think about your child's future.

Breaking the news about divorce to your spouse

The decision to leave your marriage might have been a long time coming. When you make up your mind, you have to let your spouse know. While this might seem easy, there are some points to consider before you sit down to have the conversation. Taking the time to plan how you will handle some of these can reduce your stress.

Always remain factual when you're letting them know. Try to focus on your feelings without being accusatory. Accusing your spouse of being the sole reason for the divorce will likely cause them to become defensive. That can lead to a bad situation.

Addressing your child's divorce concerns may reduce their anxiety

Stress and anxiety can lead to problems sleeping for anyone, but the situation might be more serious for children who learn of their parents' divorce. As a parent, you have to try to help them to work through the issues that they face so that they can get sufficient rest. Kids can't function properly without enough sleep. Eventually, the lack of sleep might impact their immune systems and their abilities to learn.

Having a routine in place is one of the biggest ways that you can help your kids. They thrive with routines, so even if you have to change some aspects of the daily schedule, you should try to allow as much as possible to remain the same. Establishing a firm nighttime routine for younger kids can help them to wind down before it is time to go to sleep.

Sentimental value may require creative property division methods

Property division isn't usually an easy process because both parties have ties to certain items. Not only do they have to consider that, but they also have to think about how it might impact their financial future. One thing that you can't do is to allow the sentimental value of the items to cloud your judgment as you determine what you will try to keep.

If you do have items that hold a lot of sentimental value to you, make sure that you don't let that on to your ex. They might use it against you to try to get some of the more desirable assets. They might suddenly decide that they have a tie to that item too, which could lead to them refusing to have a settlement without it.

Everything doesn't change after divorce if you have kids

When you go through a divorce, you need to know that there are major life changes coming. If you have children with your ex, some aspects of your life might not change as much as you think. One of these is that you will still have to remain in contact with your ex.

Your relationship with your ex has to shift from one that is romantic to one that is strictly present for the children. You will still need to make joint decisions for them, including those involving medical care and education.

Prepare for the first holiday season since your marriage ended

The first holiday season after your divorce is going to be a challenge for you. This isn't necessarily because you want to be married again, but it is likely because you aren't accustomed to being by yourself during this busy time of the year.

With Halloween just around the corner, now is the time to start thinking about what you are going to do for the rest of the year. One of the first things that you have to do is take a look at the major dates of the year. What are you doing for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's Day? If you have traditionally spent those days with your ex's family, you need to look into what's going on in your life for them.

Passive aggressive behavior makes child custody difficult

Dealing with a passive-aggressive ex makes a child custody issue challenging. Instead of being able to just tackle issues related to the kids, you have to go in circles about the matters for a while. This can make the situation more tenser than it has to be. Both parents need to think about their actions when they are in this type of situation.

There are a few markers that signal passive-aggressiveness is present. You have to think about whether you are employing any of these methods because there is a chance that you are contributing to the situation.

Divorce emotions can fuel your success if you handle them right

The end of a marriage is a difficult time, even if you wanted the divorce. Some people think that they will be consistently happy when they file; however, they soon realize that there are still some difficult emotions that they have to contend with. This can be challenging, but it is possible to overcome them.

Emotions can come in waves during the period after the split. For some, the first year is the most challenging because they are dealing with many first experiences as a single person. The day the divorce is made final is one that might also invoke strong emotions from you, so you should have a reliable support system available at that time.

Changes in communication with children during divorce

Divorce can bring some major changes between parents and adults. Everyone in the situation has to try to learn how to thrive despite the new circumstances. One thing that might suffer some is your ability to communicate with your children. This is difficult to handle because it might be a significant difference from what was happening before the split.

You have to try to find a new normal with your children. Before, you probably saw them daily. Now, you might go days without laying eyes on them. You might be able to use phone calls, texts and video chats to keep the lines of communication with them open when they aren't with you.

Property division can be affected by a prenuptial agreement

People who are going through a divorce must split the marital assets. But some might simplify the process ahead of time by having a prenuptial agreement in place. If you do have one, you should review it if the marriage falters. This gives you time to fully understand the consequences if you do divorce.

There are several benefits of a prenuptial agreement. First, you can assign premarital assets to one party. This is helpful if there are any assets owned by one spouse prior to the marriage.

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