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Bartlett Divorce Law Blog

Help your child with their relationship with your ex

Dealing with their parents' divorce is something that's challenging for most children. They might worry about how they will be able to spend time with both adults. While this is easy in some cases, there are instances in which one parent might not be around as much as they'd like. This can make the situation difficult for children who were accustomed to having both parents around a lot.

The parent who is with the child on a consistent basis can help out considerably in this case if they're able to help foster the relationship between the kids and the absent parent. This is typically in the child's best interests since it's beneficial for them to have a relationship with both parents. The only time this might not be a good idea is when there is abuse or addiction present.

Equitable distribution factors for you to consider

Individuals who are going through a divorce will have to split up their property. This is done either by negotiating a settlement or by the court issuing a ruling that's determined by the judge. In Tennessee, the standard that's used is equitable distribution. This means that the split might not be equal, but it must consider various factors of the marriage.

Equitable distribution isn't necessarily based on which spouse made more money. Instead, it's based on what's fair. This puts a person who sacrificed their career to raise children or care for the house on the same level as the one who remained working to financially support the home. This method takes the contributions of raising children or caring for the home into consideration. These are considered non-monetary contributions.

Custody considerations for medically complex children

Children who are medically complex and those who have special needs often count on their parents to care for them. When both parents live in the same home, they may be able to split the responsibilities. If the parents go through a divorce, coming up with a parenting plan might be a challenge. You have to think about the child's unique needs, so some of the common custody methods might not work.

For some parents, transportation is a huge concern because of the child's equipment. In these cases, the parents might do better if they share the adaptive vehicle so that whoever has the child has the ability to get them where they need to go.

Unexpected effects of the end of a marriage

Going through a divorce leads to some major life changes. Most people realize that there are going to be changes about where one party lives and how assets are divided. The changes that comes with this major life change don't end with only those practical matters. Instead, there are several others that you might have to consider if your marriage is ending.

One major change that you might not expect is the year of firsts. This is the term used to describe the roller coaster of emotions that you might experience as you go through things like holidays and other events for the first time since your divorce. You won't have your spouse with you to experience these things with you, which might bring up feelings of anger, sadness or nostalgia.

Understand how child custody modifications can benefit your kids

The child custody order that governs your parenting relationship is set to work for the children at the time it is made. As the children grow and mature, their needs might change. This may necessitate a change in the parenting plan. These can't be made arbitrarily. Instead, there has to be a valid need before the court will consider a modification.

One of the most important things to remember is that the modifications you propose must be in the child's best interests. The court is going to carefully consider the rationale behind the changes that you're suggesting.

Protect yourself when divorcing a controlling ex

Some adults have a natural need to control the things that go on around them. While this might have been a manageable trait when you were married, it can be downright frustrating when you're divorcing. In some cases, it can become dangerous. You have to protect yourself if you're in this position.

You should try to limit what your ex can control about you. If you have children together, there might be some aspects that you can't change. For example, your ex would still need a way to contact you in case something happens with the kids. You might opt to use a third-party contact or a monitored form of communication for these instances.

Child custody: Children can suffer if a parent is narcissistic

Child custody cases are challenging even under the best of circumstances, but when a narcissistic parent is involved, things get even more difficult. The emotional abuse the children have to endure might not be noticeable to the general public or those who are in contact with them because the narcissist will go to great lengths to ensure they appear kind and loving in public.

Behind closed doors, the narcissist may lash out at the children. They are also likely to alienate the other parent from the children. They don't want anything to come between them and what they want. Because they have an altered sense of reality, they believe they are superior to the child's other parent and will try to use manipulative methods to get their way in court.

Think about summer visits with the kids now

Living in a different geographical area from your children is difficult, but you'll likely look forward to the time that you do get to spend in person with them. Now that the summer is almost here, it's time to start thinking about the upcoming visit with them.

One of the most important things you can do right now is contact your ex to find out what types of things your child enjoys now. You may have some ideas, but this conversation can also include things like special bedtime routines for younger children or specific struggles the older children are having. Your goal is to try to make it easier for your children to adjust to life at your home for the summer.

Know when to seek a child custody modification

When you set up a parenting plan, you set it according to what the child needs then. Those needs might change as your child grows up. Requesting a child custody modification may be necessary if you need to have new terms for the agreement.

There are specific criteria that must be met before you can turn to the court for a modification. You can't just randomly petition the court to change the order just because you don't like it. It's imperative that you understand some of the basics associated with modifications.

Emotional and practical tolls during divorce need to be balanced

Major life changes come with a divorce, so it's imperative that you prepare for these when you know that a split is coming. Some of the changes that come when a marriage ends are for practical reasons, such as one person moving out of the marital home. This can be a costly endeavor because you may have to rent a place, which means paying deposits and related costs. You also need to think about paying for the utilities to be connected.

There are some other factors that you must think about when you're going through this situation. One of these is the emotional toll that comes with a split of this magnitude. More than likely, you and your spouse had a strong bond at one point. It can deteriorate over time, but the reality of it being completely gone might hit you harder than what you think it should.

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