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Bartlett Divorce Law Blog

Make decisions that protect you during divorce

The process of divorcing means that you will have to take a hard look at your financial situation. This gives you an idea of what you can do with the property division process. You must be honest with yourself during this part of the divorce because you don't need to make decisions now that will ruin your financial standing in the future.

We realize that you have a lot going on right now. Trying to rebuild your life after a marriage ends is challenging, especially if the marriage was a lengthy one. As you are working to settle into the new way of life, remember that you are in charge of your own life. You don't have to worry about what your ex wants or thinks now. You can do things your way.

Property division is a balancing act that requires preparation

The property division process is one that is very involved, not only financially but also emotionally. You might be surprised at the strong emotions you feel when you are dividing some assets. These are often the ones that have a sentimental value. Even when you are tied to these items, you should think carefully about how they might help or harm you.

Sometimes, the items that you feel an attachment to aren't actually what you are tied to. instead, you are attached to the memories that are associated with the object. Remembering this might help you as you split everything up. For example, you might want to keep the house but the reason for this might be that you enjoy the memories that come with the home.

Consider these factors about spousal support as you plan

Some divorces include spousal support (alimony) as part of the final agreement. If you are seeking spousal support from your ex -- or think that you might -- there are a number of specifics that you need to consider in order to plan your future. Our attorneys know that you might have a number of unanswered questions about alimony, and we can help guide you through them.

Here are some of the most issues affecting alimony that need to be discussed with your attorney:

Plan for holiday fun with your children

Now that you have your holiday schedule for child custody decided, you need to make plans for when your children are with you. This can be almost as challenging as trying to figure out the schedule. If your kids are old enough, allow them to provide input about what they would like to do to celebrate.

Since you only have to worry about you and the kids this holiday season, you can try to focus on things that everyone will enjoy that will make good memories for them. This doesn't mean that you have to fill every second with activity. Sometimes, the best memories are just relaxing at home and enjoying each other's company.

Decision-making must be covered in a parenting plan

Parents who have a child custody agreement have to decide who is going to make which decisions for the children. There are three main areas of concern — education, health care and faith. When you are working out the parenting plan with your ex, you will have to outline who will handle the major decisions.

There are two ways that these decisions can be made. One parent could make all the decisions for a specific category. Alternatively, both parents can make decisions equally. However, both options can still present challenges for the adults.

Long-distance parenting requires careful planning

For some parents, holidays are special times, not only because they are having fun celebrating the events, but because they get to spend time with their children. Long-distance parenting is filled with long periods without having your children with you. If you are in this position, school breaks might be welcome havens with your kids. We know that you only want to raise your children and have a good relationship with them.

There are times when questions about when you will have the children might creep up. For example, if the school system changes the break schedule, it might mean that it doesn't mesh with the parenting time schedule. We can help you review the options that you have for handling these situations.

Divorcing a narcissist isn't an easy journey

A person who is a narcissist won't accept that label. Instead, they are so focused on themselves that they think everyone is against them and that everyone's motivation for behaviors relate to them. When you're going through a divorce with a narcissist, these attitudes that they have can make things more difficult on you at the end of your marriage.

A narcissist has to feel as though they are in control. They will portray themselves as a victim in just about every situation so that they can try to get people to feel sorry for them, allowing them to manipulate the behavior of others around them. This can work against you during the negotiation process for property division and child custody.

Long-distance moves during custody cases can be challenging

One of the most difficult things that parents might have to do when they have gone through a divorce is to move out of the area. This brings up the possibility of having one parent who is going to have a long-distance relationship with their children. Whether you are the custodial parent or not, you have to think carefully about the situation.

We know that you likely have a good reason to move. This might be for a job or to be closer to family members. Make sure that you clearly express the reason for the move to the other parent so they know that you aren't moving just to make a difficult situation even more complex.

Discuss holiday plans with your ex right away

The cooler autumn weather means that the holiday season is fast approaching. If you have children but aren't in a relationship now with their other parent, now is the time that you need to look into what will happen during the holiday season. By taking the time to do this now, you can help your children know what to expect for each upcoming holiday.

Your parenting plan might have information about the schedule your child will follow. Even if this is the case, it is best to touch base with your ex to make sure that there aren't any conflicts. It might be difficult to address possible problems. Regardless, you should work toward ensuring that your children can enjoy the festivities.

Plan your property division strategy based on practical matters

The property division process can be one of the more stressful aspects of getting a divorce. You have to think about how each asset or debt can impact your future. Your ex is doing the same thing. Ultimately, everything must be split to finalize the divorce. If you are willing to work with your ex toward the common goal of splitting marital assets, your divorce can usually be done sooner.

We realize that some divorces have a lot of assets to comb through. It might help if you make a list of all the assets and debts of which you're aware prior to the first mediation session. You can also turn to the paperwork for the divorce because each party has to fill out a form regarding this matter.

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