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Bartlett Divorce Law Blog

4 points to remember if infidelity leads to divorce

Learning that your spouse betrayed your marriage can cause a deep pain that isn't always easy to overcome. It might be the factor that leads to the end of your marriage. If this happens, there are several things that you need to think about as you go through the process.

First, you need to allow yourself to heal. This doesn't mean that you condone what your ex did. Instead, it means that you aren't going to let their infidelity rule your life for another day. They made their choice and it is affecting you, but you do have a say in how much you allow it to impact your life.

Communication standards can be in your parenting plan

Going through a divorce when you have children means that you aren't actually going to be able to just avoid your ex forever. Instead, you're going to have to work as a team to raise the children. Setting up a positive foundation for the future is beneficial. You can do this by developing a respectful parenting relationship during the divorce.

As you're coming up with the terms of the split, make sure you're using proper communication standards. It might help if you think of it as a businesslike situation, so you can remain cordial during your interactions with your ex.

Plan for emergency school closures

Parents who are divorced have many challenges to face. One of these is what they are going to do when the children don't have school. Some of these times are easy to plan for because they are part of the school calendar. You have time to make the arrangements for the children. But, what happens if there is a sudden closure, like when there is inclement weather or something else happens?

You and your ex should have a contingency plan just in case school is cancelled unexpectedly. Maybe one parent is going to miss work to care for the children or the kids will go to a drop-in daycare or family member's home. Knowing ahead of time what's going on can help you to reduce the stress if it does happen.

Splitting assets in divorce is often challenging

The property division process during divorce is one that is usually either calm or very contentious. It can be rather challenging to go through everything amassed during the marriage and determine who is going to get what.

One thing that needs to be decided from the start is how debts will be handled. The decision that needs to be made is whether to sell off assets to pay them off or simply assign them each to a spouse and split all the assets.

Consider these points during your divorce

Not everyone can work out a divorce settlement with their ex. The ones who can't will have to go through a divorce trial. Preparing for the trial is something that isn't going to be easy, but knowing some pointers going into the hearing might help you as handle this hurdle on the way to your new life.

One of the most important things to remember is that you can't let your emotions rule you when you're in court. Your ex might try to say things just to get a negative reaction out of you. Remember that you're being watched while you're in court. Try to remain calm. It might help if you let your attorney handle issues as they creep up.

Encourage your child's relationship with their other parent

Children can suffer greatly when their parents divorce. As a parent, it is up to you to help them work through the emotions and concerns that they have when they are dealing with this. One of the primary worries that some kids have is whether they'll get to have a relationship with both parents.

Sometimes, children might not think that one parent wants to know about their interactions with the other. It's a tough situation for them to be in, but you can help alleviate these concerns by making it clear that you want them to have a meaningful relationship with their other parent.

Separation requirements before divorce in Tennessee

Once you realize that your marriage is over, you might be ready to file a divorce petition. Before you take this step in Tennessee, you must ensure that you meet all the applicable requirements.

Most people will need to have lived in Tennessee for six months before filing. This might be waived if there were acts committed in the state that lead to divorce. The other exception is that military spouses and personnel must have lived in the state for one year prior to filing.

Be prepared to take a new relationship slowly when you have kids

Going through a divorce is a difficult situation because of the amount of adjustment you're having to do in every aspect of your life. One thing that's often challenging is the sense of loneliness that you might feel. This might lead some individuals to pursue a new relationship quickly. Unfortunately, this can make the situation complex, especially if you have children.

A study done on 1,700 recently divorced women revealed that around 65% of them started dating within the first year of being separated or divorced. Around 78% thought about dating before the divorce was final. For the 20% who didn't have children, they only had to think about themselves when they got back into the dating scene. The remainder of the women had to balance motherhood with dating.

Options for handling credit card debt in divorce

Many couples have amassed credit card debt, and this has to be handled carefully if they decide to divorce. One thing to remember is that these debts may affect your credit scores if they are not paid. If your score is lowered, you might have difficulties obtaining new lines of credit, including problems qualifying for a mortgage.

With credit card debt, you can't assume that the person who made the purchase is the one who is solely responsible for the charge. Instead, your property division order will outline who will pay which debts.

Long distance parenting requires support from both parents

When one parent moves away after a divorce, the children involved in the situation may have a big adjustment ahead of them. They might not be able to see their other parent as often as they're used to doing -- and they may even see the parent's move as a rejection. This is can bring up a host of emotions, but you can help your child through this.

Your children deserve to have a meaningful relationship with both parents, but they might not be sure how they can do this when their other parent isn't close. You can encourage them to build the relationship by providing them with ample time to call or speak to their other parent. This can happen over the phone, but it might also occur via text or video chats.

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