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Bartlett Divorce Law Blog

Alimony payments can be lump-sum or recurring

When you are going through a divorce, the subject of alimony might come up. Normally, this is reserved for long-term marriages and those with some specific circumstances. The goal of alimony is usually to help support a spouse until they are able to get on their feet. In some cases, this is because the person was a stay-at-home spouse and doesn't have the workforce experience that would allow them to support themselves right away.

For the most part, alimony orders will have a definite end date. There are few cases in which alimony will be paid forever unless the paying person dies, or the recipient gets remarried. If alimony is a consideration in your divorce, there are two primary options regarding how the payments might be handled.

Enjoy your children during visits with them

Spending time with your children might be a highlight of your life. When you don't share custody of them but have visitation, you need to make the most of the time you have with them. There are many ways that you can do this. Ultimately, you have to find ways that help you to make positive memories with them.

We know that you might not feel like you have enough time with the kids. Instead of focusing on this and allowing this negative perception to cloud the time you have with them, focus on enjoying them while you're together. There are many things you can do to make this happen.

4 tips for handling divorce in an appropriate manner

When you decide to file for divorce, you are starting a journey that can either set you up for success in the future or make your life unbearable. Working toward the former option should be your goal. There are several things that you can do to encourage this to happen as your marriage ends.

Your primary goal right now is protecting your own interests. Your ex might have helped with this while you were married, but this isn't going to happen now.

  • Think about your emotional health. Even if you think that you can be friends with your ex, you need to take a step back right now. Let the friendship come gradually so that you can focus on the divorce.
  • Set a plan for disagreements. You and your ex won't agree on everything. You need to decide how matters will be settled, especially if you have children together since that means you have many years of working together left.
  • Remain respectful. Thinking of the divorce as a sort of business arrangement might benefit you because it is a reminder that respect is a must. Being rude or aggressive won't accomplish anything except making the situation more difficult and stressful.
  • Consider your options. Throughout the divorce, you will have decisions to make. Think about how each one will affect you so that you are making choices that you feel are best for you.

Think about summer plans now to avoid last-minute stress

Even though it seems like you have a long time before the summer, now is the best time to start thinking about the vacation plans you need to make for then. Taking care of at least the tentative plans now gives you time to ensure that you can work things out with your ex. It also gives you a chance to plan for time off work and handle similar points.

Before you start making plans for a trip, make sure that you review the parenting plan to find out if you have any restrictions. Typically, vacation plans will trump the normal visitation schedule, but you should still try to work out the dates with your ex so that there aren't any conflicts.

Prepare your children for long-distance moves

Children are very adaptable, but they might not deal well with last-minute changes. One area that might be difficult for them to deal with is having to move. For children who have parents in the military, this is a part of regular life. There are several ways that you can help your children cope with the move when it is time for your duty station to change.

First, make sure that you let them know about the move as soon as you know. While it might not mean much to younger children, you can use this time to slowly work up to letting them know what the move will entail. Make sure you let them know that everything will be fine.

Make decisions that protect you during divorce

The process of divorcing means that you will have to take a hard look at your financial situation. This gives you an idea of what you can do with the property division process. You must be honest with yourself during this part of the divorce because you don't need to make decisions now that will ruin your financial standing in the future.

We realize that you have a lot going on right now. Trying to rebuild your life after a marriage ends is challenging, especially if the marriage was a lengthy one. As you are working to settle into the new way of life, remember that you are in charge of your own life. You don't have to worry about what your ex wants or thinks now. You can do things your way.

Property division is a balancing act that requires preparation

The property division process is one that is very involved, not only financially but also emotionally. You might be surprised at the strong emotions you feel when you are dividing some assets. These are often the ones that have a sentimental value. Even when you are tied to these items, you should think carefully about how they might help or harm you.

Sometimes, the items that you feel an attachment to aren't actually what you are tied to. instead, you are attached to the memories that are associated with the object. Remembering this might help you as you split everything up. For example, you might want to keep the house but the reason for this might be that you enjoy the memories that come with the home.

Consider these factors about spousal support as you plan

Some divorces include spousal support (alimony) as part of the final agreement. If you are seeking spousal support from your ex -- or think that you might -- there are a number of specifics that you need to consider in order to plan your future. Our attorneys know that you might have a number of unanswered questions about alimony, and we can help guide you through them.

Here are some of the most issues affecting alimony that need to be discussed with your attorney:

Plan for holiday fun with your children

Now that you have your holiday schedule for child custody decided, you need to make plans for when your children are with you. This can be almost as challenging as trying to figure out the schedule. If your kids are old enough, allow them to provide input about what they would like to do to celebrate.

Since you only have to worry about you and the kids this holiday season, you can try to focus on things that everyone will enjoy that will make good memories for them. This doesn't mean that you have to fill every second with activity. Sometimes, the best memories are just relaxing at home and enjoying each other's company.

Decision-making must be covered in a parenting plan

Parents who have a child custody agreement have to decide who is going to make which decisions for the children. There are three main areas of concern — education, health care and faith. When you are working out the parenting plan with your ex, you will have to outline who will handle the major decisions.

There are two ways that these decisions can be made. One parent could make all the decisions for a specific category. Alternatively, both parents can make decisions equally. However, both options can still present challenges for the adults.

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