The word “quiet quitting” originally refers to how people reduce the amount of effort they put into their jobs – they are physically there, but they have mentally and emotionally checked out. They are only putting in the bare minimum. They may want to quit but for whatever reason are unable to do so.
This can also apply to marriage and romantic relationships. In the context of marriage, this happens when your spouse begins to emotionally disengage from the marriage. Just like when someone quiet quits their job, your spouse may only be putting in the least amount of energy, effort and emotion – just enough to keep things amicable at home.
The “quiet” part is what makes this tricky. You may not notice right away that your spouse is slowly but surely checking out of the relationship. Here are some of the signs to watch out for:
Less intimacy
You may notice a significant decrease in the amount of physical affection and intimacy between the two of you. You might get the impression that they do not want to spend time alone with you. You may be sleeping in separate bedrooms, traveling separately or generally just spending less time in the same space like you used to. This could be a sign that your spouse is trying to avoid the reality of your relationship.
Emotional distance
Physical touch may not be the only thing that may be slowly disappearing from your marriage. Your spouse may be emotionally checking out, too. When they no longer share their thoughts, feelings or experiences with you, there may be a problem. You might also notice them having less interest in your life, feelings and interests. When you no longer feel like you still know them, or know what is happening in their life, they may be quiet quitting your marriage.
Less arguments
One might think that not arguing is a sign of a healthy marriage, but having productive arguments can be vital in keeping your marriage healthy. Your spouse may be quiet quitting if they no longer challenge you on anything. They stay away from conflict because it takes more energy than it’s worth.
If you feel like your spouse is quiet quitting your marriage, it might be on its way to divorce. Knowing your options ahead of time can help you prepare for anything.