There are a number of reasons that Tennessee couples who are in a troubled marriage may want to put off getting a divorce. They might be worried about the cost or the disruption to their families and their lives. If they have children, they might think it is better to stay together for their sake, but this might not always be the case.
Disadvantages of waiting
Parents might worry that it will be difficult for their children to accept a divorce and that the process of moving between their homes is disruptive for them. While children may go through a difficult adjustment period, if there is a lot of tension at home, a divorce can be a relief in some cases. One danger of staying together for the sake of the children is that it can affect their understanding of relationships and provide them with an unhealthy model that they carry with them into adult life.
Effects on adult children
In waiting until their children are grown, parents also do not necessarily spare their children from difficulty. Divorce can be hard on adult children as well. In fact, if they suspect their parents stayed together for their sake, they might feel guilty on top of other emotions.
There is a great deal to consider in a divorce, including how it will affect other people. However, it is possible for children to adjust to divorce in a healthy way. This can be particularly true if parents focus on effective co-parenting. Negotiating the child custody agreement out of court instead of fighting over it in court may lay the groundwork for a functional co-parenting relationship, but even parents who have been through an acrimonious custody battle may be able to set their differences aside after the divorce to focus on the best interests of the children.