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Your Child’s New Life: How to Help Your Child Thrive During (And After) a Divorce


Dealing with divorce can be incredibly emotional; however, couples who have children need to focus on working through their new family changes together.

When you and your partner made the decision to divorce, you probably thought about how your own life would change. You understood that you’d need to file the right paperwork, meet with your attorney, and possibly pay alimony. When kids are involved in a [url=ttp://]divorce[/url], however, everything changes. Although your child was not the cause of your divorce, your little one will be drastically impacted by your marital ending. Whether your child is four years old or seventeen years old, it’s important that you stay focused on your child and help them to know how much you love and care about them during this time. No matter what your current relationship with your child might be like, there are a few things you can do to help your child thrive both during and after the divorce. Here’s what you need to know.

Photo of Jeffrey H. Jones

First off, make sure you tell your child about the divorce. Don’t make the mistake of assuming that your partner will do all of the work when it comes to communicating with your child. Even if your soon-to-be ex has talked with your child, it’s still important that your little one hear your side of the story. Avoid talking badly about your spouse and instead focus on your child. Explain that although you and your partner are separating, you will both continue to love your child and spend time with them.

It’s also important to give your child some control when you can. During this time, your child’s life may feel completely out of control. Everything your child has ever known is changing very rapidly. It’s normal for this to feel like a chaotic time for your child. Focus on giving your child as many choices as you can. This will help your child feel like they have a say in their own life. For example, let your child choose where you eat for dinner. Let them pick out their clothes for school. Let them decide if they want to invite a friend over. If you have an older child, you might allow them to decide what time they go to bed (within reason).

It’s also important to talk with your attorney about ways you can focus on keeping your child’s lifestyle the same. Your lawyer can advise you as to how you can proceed legally in order to keep you child’s standard of living the same. Note that if one partner (you or your former spouse) makes significantly more money than the other, one of you may pay child support to ensure your child is able to enjoy the same lifestyle as they did before the divorce.

No matter what led to your choice to divorce, make sure you meet with an attorney early on who can help guide you through the process. Your attorney can offer advice and assistance as you and your child move forward with your life journeys.

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